A Thousand Magnificent Suns
by Cordelia Blythe
Summary: Chapters explore life in the Marauder Era. Post-DH. "War. In the midst of it, sometimes, strangers felt like kin. And sometimes, the people who were once your nearest and dearest suddenly felt like strangers."
1. Lily: A Thousand Magnificent Suns

They're hazel. His eyes.

They sparkle like a thousand stars. No, like a thousand suns.

Six years ago if you had asked Lily Evans what the color of James Potter's eyes was, she would have said brown. But now, as she sits in her Charms class, not listening to her professor, she closes her eyes and pictures James' eyes. They are hazel. Not brown.

James' eyes are a million different colors at the same time. There are the golden flecks here and there that are especially evident when he is outside on a sunny day. There is the green that Lily has noticed when he gets really happy - a green that mirrors her own green eyes. There is the occasional grey - when he is particularly upset - and then there is the glassy brown - when he is calm. And those were just the main colors. In addition to these, there were the in-betweens - the grey-greens, the golden-greens, the golden-browns, the golden-greys…

"Uh, Miss Evans!"

Snap! She blinks her eyes open to find Professor Flitwick looking at her curiously. "Miss Evans, are you alright?"

"Fine, professor." She blushes, embarrassed. She looks around to find the class empty. Had she fallen asleep? Fallen asleep while thinking about Potter's eyes? Potter's eyes… "I've - I'm a little - "

The professor smiles at her kindly. "It's alright, my dear. You look exhausted." He pats her hand comfortingly. "Get some sleep."

She gathers up her books and quills, and walks out of the class.

As she heads towards the dining hall, she sighs. _I fell asleep in Charms because I was distracted by Potter's eyes. _She groans.

………………………………

During dinner she eats quietly, while Dorcas and Mary talk about the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend.

Lily forks some pumpkin pie into her mouth, and looks sideways at James Potter, sitting a couple of seats away from Dorcas. He doesn't seem to notice her. He talks animatedly with Sirius, laughing and grinning every couple of minutes. Lily sighs. Eyes.

When he laughs, he throws back his head and laughs loudly, hiding nothing. His eyes are half shut. But then, when the laughter subsides, his eyes open up, and they are like a thousand magnificent suns. And then suddenly, those eyes are on her, and she blinks, caught.

She can't look away. She tries, but she can't. He smiles slowly, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. He gets up from his place at the table. Black throws him a confused look. But James proceeds to get up and walk slowly towards where Lily is seated. He sits down, across from her. Dorcas and Mary stop talking abruptly, and look at James strangely. But, he isn't awkward.

"Hello, Dorcas… Mary," He nods at them. They smile back. He turns to Lily - "Hi."

She says, "Hi."

"How are things?"

"Things are okay," she says. They haven't broken their eye contact. And frankly, for Lily, this was getting a little intense. His thousand suns are burning into her eyes. Her eyes are watering, and yet, she cannot look away.

"How are you?" It's not a question that was meant for making conversation. No, he actually wanted to know how she was.

_Not too well_, she wants to say. _I feel like I'm missing something. I feel a longing for… something. _

Instead, she says, "I'm alright." His raised eyebrows tell her that he doesn't buy it.

She sees the difference in him. He is changed. He isn't the same James Potter anymore. He still walked with his head held high, like he owned Hogwarts, but there was a certain humility in it. He just wasn't as arrogant anymore. She still saw him pull the occasional prank, but it just wasn't as immature anymore. Or… was it her? Had _she_ changed? Maybe he was as bad as ever, but she had gotten used to it. Or worse yet, started liking it?

No, it was him… _and_ her. They had both changed.

He had become a teensy bit more mature. And somehow, his annoying little habits were annoying no more.

………………………………......................................................................

He is the crowned prince in her fairy tale . He is the hero in her story.

She used to hate that he acted like he owned the earth he walked on - his head held high, his height giving him that imposing look, his eyes bright - so, so bright. Bright as the sun. But, he _is _the crowned prince. It's him. He didn't _act _like he was that way. He just _was_. She sees that he was born to be great, to do great things, to save the world… to save her.

The savior. He has it in him to be the savior. He is almost always the first one to volunteer for any mission for the Order. It isn't just that he likes the thrill in it. Yeah, the risk, the danger involved play some part in James's enthusiasm. But, that isn't the main thing. No, one look at his eyes and you know that there is something more to it.

Those eyes tell all - they convey his ambitions, his dreams, his destiny. They tell of his passion, his need to fight against the darkest forces of the time, his need to protect everyone around him…

_They run, their arms and legs scratched and cut by the long sharp limbs of trees. They run, their feet crushing fallen leaves on the ground of the forest. They run, their hearts hammering like drums, their feet getting sore, and their minds numb with fear. There's a flash of green from behind… missed…. Then a flash of red….missed… Green again… missed again… _

_They keep running. They cannot apparate, because they have to find Dorcas before apparating… and she is nowhere to be found. Sirius, leading the group of them, looks pale, afraid. Lily finds it scary, seeing the usually cool and calm Sirius look so grave. He's yelling out, "Dorcas! Dorcas!" But in vain. _

_And then suddenly, they find Dorcas running towards them, from the opposite direction. Sirius yells, "Dorcas!" The group runs towards her, and she towards them. When they meet, Sirius grabs onto Dorcas, hugging her to him, a huge smile on his handsome face._

"_Let's apparate together!" Sirius says, and everyone grabs on to the hand closest to him or her. Lily reaches over for James' hand, but - _

_From behind, a Death Eater has caught up with them, and he grabs Lily by her waist. She shrieks. The others have apparated. And she feels her heart sinking. She is left alone…_

_She struggles to point her wand at the man holding her captive, but he is behind her. She also cannot remember any spell at this point. Her mind is blank. _

_She's going to die…she is going to die… she is going to die…_

_But - _

"_STUPEFY!" _

_And suddenly, she is free. _

_It's James. _

"_LILY!" And his arms go around her waist. "Hold on!" _

_They apparate together. _

_When they hit the ground, she has no idea where they are. But she doesn't care where they are. They're alive - that's all that matters. _

_His arms stay on her waist. He holds on as if he refuses to let go. She is fine with that. _

_When he does let go, she turns around and sees it. Sees him - her savior, her hero. _

_There are cuts and bruises on his face. There are bleeding wounds that may leave scars. And then, there are his eyes. They are untouched, but troubled. There are no physical wounds on those eyes. But, there are plenty of worries in them. Worries for her… But, there is something else too in those eyes… _

_Her future… the rest of her life. _

………………………………_................................................ _


	2. James: OVER

She wanted him to stop. So, he stopped.

He doesn't ask her anymore. It's their last year at Hogwarts, and quite frankly, he's tired. Tired of the game. The chase was over. It was over when it stopped being a chase and started becoming something more. He does not like being rejected over and over again. Yes, he has been perseverant. He had asked her countless number of times, not caring that she rejected him every time.

Oh, but he cared. Every time that she said 'no', he cared.

But, well, that's over. O-V-E-R.

Yeah, somehow, James thought that spelling it out would make it better.

Now, there is the new and improved James. James is now friends with Lily. Yeah, well, they had to become friends in order to share their head duties together. Now, they talk to each other for long periods of time without him flirting with her and without her throwing things at him. Now, they smile politely at each other when passing in the hallways.

Now, they are friends.

But, Merlin, he knows that there are moments when he just knows that there is more than just friendship in the air. No, not just moments. Always.

He still distinctly remembers the day when she found out about him getting Head Boy.

_James opens the door to the Prefects' compartment, and enters, his shiny new Head Boy badge pinned to his new robes. Lily is already sitting there, early as usual . At the sound of the door opening, She looks up with a smile on her pretty face. But the moment their eyes lock, the smile fades. His heart sinks. _

_He watches her struggle with her words as she takes in the badge. _

_"Head boy." It's a statement. She stares and then says, "Um, is this a j-"_

_"No, Evans. It's for real." He says flatly. _

But after she had gotten over her initial shock, it had been okay. They had been very professional about it. Only for James, this had been an ordeal. He had taken lessons from Remus, he had to admit. Yeah, he still had moments when he acted like an idiot, but mostly, he was a new man. He had stopped asking her out.

Completely.

……………………………….....

Sirius thought his best friend was an idiot. Changing himself for a girl!

"I said it was over, remember?" James says exasperatedly. "O-V-E-R? Over?"

Sirius rolls his eyes at James, and throws a chess piece at him. "Prongs, spelling the word out does not mean that you're actually over her. It just means that you can spell big words like my cousin Nymphadora."

"You're a moron, Sirius, you know that?" James fires back , throwing the piece back at Sirius.

"You're spelling out words, and suddenly _I'm_ the moron?"

"Look, she's a friend now, okay?"

"Friends!" Sirius exclaims. "F-R-I-E-N-D-S…Prongs, mate, that is a dangerous territory when it comes to women and men. And since when do you go around, making friends with the ladies in this school?" He looks at James as though he's crazy. "Preposterous!"

"Padfoot, cut the crap."

"I am only trying to give you the side effects to this stupidity that you call friendship." Sirius says, lying down on the couch next to the fireplace in the common room. "With Lily Evans of all people." He suddenly gets up from his lying position and looks at James dramatically. "Prongs, you do know that this is the same girl who got us detention fifty times in sixth year, right?"

Sirius watches his friend look over, across the room, at the very girl they were conversing about. James smiles - a smile that lights up his entire face. Sirius sighs loudly. But James either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

……………………………….............

Breakfast in the morning is particularly uncomfortable. Not for everyone. Just for those two.

They reach for the butter dish at the same time, and his fingers brush hers accidentally.

She winces. He squirms. They both blush. "Oh. Sorry," she says.

"Go ahead," he says.

"No, you first." she says.

"Oh, I'm in no rush -" he starts to says, when the dark-haired boy sitting next to him rolls his eyes and reaches for the butter dish and says -

"Well, I certainly am in a rush." He spreads an unhealthy amount of butter on his toast while the girl says, shaking her head at him -

"Black, butter is something you have with bread. You don't have bread to go with butter."

"What's the difference, Evans?" Sirius asks.

"Cholesterol."

"Cho- what?"

"Fat that - oh, never mind. It's not like you'll listen to me."

"Good point," he says while chewing. She frowns, but says nothing. He then leans forward, still chewing on an unholy amount of mushy food, but now looking from James to Lily and back again. "Say, Evans," he says, now fixing his brilliant grey eyes on the girl, "How come you're sitting with James for breakfast?" James, the boy, shoots his best friend a look that says "Don't be a moron, git, and stop talking." But, Sirius, being his usual self, either doesn't understand the look, or has chosen to ignore it, because he goes on to say, " I mean, this is hardly your everyday routine. I thought this thing between you and Prongs was strictly professional - what with your "Big" Head duties and all."

She looks at him and blinks, looking like she has been caught red-handed. But, she is not speechless. "Um. Actually, I was waiting on Potter to finish so that we can get some important business out of the way."

"Well," Sirius says, not even trying to hide his smirk. "Of course it's still strictly business." Sarcasm drips from his tone. "What ever was I thinking." He looks at James, grins, and says, "O-V-E-R, right?" And then he laughs his bark of a laughter. He stops for a second, looks a the other two, and then starts laughing madly all over again.

Lily looks at him, and then looks at James. James shoots Sirius a glare, turns to Lily, and shakes his head at her. "Don't mind him. He forgot to take his medication this morning."

Under the table, he discreetly stamps on his best friend's foot. Sirius' laughter ceases and he curses loudly.

………………….

Note: Please review :)


	3. Lily: Impossible

Sirius is impossible. He is everything that Lily disapproves of. As a matter of fact, so is James. But that sure didn't stop her from falling for him. But Sirius is just so very impossible.

She loves James - even though he is totally insane. And Sirius - him and James are sort of like a buy-one-get-one-free scheme. Sirius is the get one free. If she wanted James, she had to deal with Sirius, too.

Sirius is everywhere James is. They are together. Always.

At first, when James and her had started going out, it was awkward. Of all of James' friends, Lily knew Remus the best. Remus was a reasonable bloke, the guy who was a buffer zone between Lily and James before they had gotten together. Peter spoke very little, and Lily didn't quite know what to say to him most of the time.

Sirius, now, is a whole different matter. He is James' best friend. And that just makes everything complicated. Before she gave in to James, Lily considered Sirius to be only slightly better than James. The only difference that made her despise James more than she did Sirius was that Sirius never made an attempt at flirting with her.

Before James and her become friends, Sirius would occasionally corner her and ask her why she refused to go out with his best friend. He didn't do it often - just occasionally, when she had particularly given his best friend a hard time. It was a little unnerving to see Sirius Black looking worried, demanding her to accept James' proposal.

Like the day when she lost her best friend. She doesn't even remember calling James all those names that Dorcas very kindly reminded her of - "Bullying toerag" and "arrogant." No, she doesn't remember anything about that day except for the word "Mudblood" forming on Severus' mouth. But then, in the evening, right before dinner, as she is walking towards the Great Hall, Sirius catches up with her. He is surprisingly without his Partner-in-crime.

"Evans, wait up!" he calls from behind. She stops, raises her eyebrows, waits for him. "Can we talk?" he asks.

She looks at him warily, but nevertheless says, "All right."

"Shall we?' he asks, gesturing that they should walk and talk.

"So, what is it?"

"Today," he begins. "in the afternoon -" But he is interrupted.

"Hey, Sirius!" a fourth year girl yells out, flipping her hair and throwing a glower towards Lily.

He raises a hand in recognition, and continues, "You were a little harsh, no?"

"No." she snaps. "Your friend was an arse, and he deserved every word of what I said. I don't _want _to go out with him, and he doesn't seem to get that. He bullied Severus for no reason - "

"Are you _thick_?" Sirius interrupts, incredulous. "Where you even there? _Snivellus_ was the arse! Might I remind you that Snivellus called you a 'Mudblood'? Did you notice that? Or were you too busy trying to see Prongs as the bad guy? James was trying to protect you, and you turned against him."

"Look, Black, Potter wasn't trying to protect me. He was just trying to act like the good guy. People here put him up on a pedestal," she says, disgusted and irritated. "They make him out to be some sort of a hero, and he likes the attention. He's so full of it. Well, I refuse to follow the trend."

"You know who's full of it? You are. Full of shit. That's right, Evans." he says, and walks away. She stares after him. She doesn't know why, but she is a little befuddled, a little ashamed, and even a little impressed.

……………………………….......................................................................................

In the seventh year, James and her decide to put aside their differences, and become friends. Mostly, this is because of the head duties. Dumbledore, when he had had a meeting with them, had subtly hinted to them that a Head Girl who didn't get along with the Head Boy would be a disaster for everyone.

So, they now have this thing where they say 'hello' to each other in the hallways. She could tell that it surprises Sirius when it first happens.

"Hello, Lily ." James says.

"Hello, James." she says. And right then, Sirius raises his eyebrows at James. It isn't much, but it is something. It's probably the use of first names that really throws Sirius off.

A week later, she sits with James at breakfast, and Sirius asks her why. He just asks her - straight out. No hesitation. And she stutters, flustered. _Urgh, he is so impossible_, she thinks at that point. _He is doing it on purpose, just to make me flustered. _

""Um. Actually, I was waiting on Potter to finish so that we can get some important business out of the way." she says, her face resembling a tomato.

A month later, she laughs at joke made by James. Really laughs at it. Sirius doesn't say anything. Instead, he smiles at her, and she feels so exposed. _He knows,_ she thinks.

And before she knows it , before she can even imagine, she has fallen. Fallen in trouble. In deep, deep… love.

She sees James so much as talking to another girl in their year, and she feels her heart clenching. Jealous.

Ha. Jealous. Over James. This is new. Or maybe it isn't new. Maybe she just started to recognize it. It drives her nuts. She can't see him with other girls. He suddenly has this power over her. Marlene is over there right now, talking to him. She is pretty, Marlene is. And well, James is laughing and teasing her. They look really cozy sitting next to each other near the common room fire place. They do. And the thing is, Marlene is really nice, and Lily likes her. So, it's hard for Lily to hate her.

But, oh, her heart aches. And she keeps looking over at them.

"Hey, Evans." She looks up from staring at them, and - Sirius Black. Urgh. Caught again. By the same idiot. He is smiling that dimpled smile of his. Moron. He knows. "So…" he says, looking over at James and Marlene. "Merry Christmas."

"It's not Christmas yet. It's not Christmas until next week." she says, bewildered.

"Yeah, I was just trying to make conversation."

"Oh."

He takes a seat across from and looks at her closely.

"What?" she asks, irritated.

"Your eyes are greener than usual." he says, smiling. He throws another glance at James and Marlene.

Impossible.

………………………………..........................................


	4. Severus: Sharing Feelings Is Overrated

**Sharing Feelings Is Overrated**

He loves her. _Loves _her. Not like you love your mother, or your friend, or your pet. But, the other kind. The sort of love that makes your heart jump around like a ping-pong ball. The kind that makes you think of the future.

He watches her during dinner. She is small - skinny, short. Her hair is auburn now, subtler than the scarlet that it used to be. He smiles absentmindedly, wondering if he'd ever have chance to hold her small, pale hands.

He has always loved her. He now knows that. As a child, playing on that swing with Lily, teaching her how to make wand movements, he obviously hadn't known, couldn't have named, the feeling. They were young, innocent.

They are not so young anymore. And he knows.

They are also not friends anymore.

But, he wonders if he should tell her.

But, tell her what?

_Hi, Lily. Remember me? Severus. Yes, yes, the very same. The one who called you a Mudblood. Yeah. I'm in love with you. Always have been. Always will be. No one can ever love you like I do. So, what do you say? Do you feel the same way? _

He snorts out loud, causing Regulus Black to look at him oddly. Yes, that will do. A year and a half had passed since the day he messed up, and she hadn't said a word to him since. He had tried. Merlin knows that he had. But, in vain. Now, he was going to just go up to her and proclaim his love for her. _Oh yeah, brilliant, Snape_, he thought bitterly. _That'll work. _

The thing, though, is that he can't _not_ tell someone. This newly realized feeling was - was _overwhelming_. He couldn't carry it around in his heart. He wanted to tell. Wanted to tell the person who was the only one he ever wanted to tell anything.

He wants to be able to walk up to her and tell her that she was the reason for his existence. The reason why he wanted to live. Without her he was lifeless. He wants to be able to sweep her off her feet. To know that she was his, and no one else's. To know that she too loved him.

………………………………...................................................................

When he walks up to her, she is first startled. Then, confused. Then, defensive and angry.

He had planned it for a while now. For almost a week he had followed her around, trying to figure out the times of the day when she was usually alone. Thankfully, she walked alone everyday from the Runes classroom to the Potions classroom.

So now, today, he finally finds courage to follow her, and instead of staying behind and watching from afar, he walks faster and catches up to her.

The startled look on her face is a given. He had startled her, and so she is surprised. The confused look is alright, too, but it's the defensive and angry look that diminishes his courage. And he suddenly wishes that he hadn't done this.

But, what comes next is worse - she doesn't say a word, and walks away. Or starts to anyway.

"No, Lily, please." he says, reaching out and touching her sleeve. At this, she spins around and points her wand at him, her face showing every sign of dislike and disdain.

"No!" she yells, her voice loud, but quivering.

"Lily -"

"This is just fabulous!" she says, her voice higher than usual. "Severus Snape!" Her mouth is twisted in an ugly sneer, and Severus cringes. "Talking to me? Lily Evans, the Mudblood?" She laughs coldly. "So, how have you been? Very well, I suppose, now that Voldemort has declared war in the wizarding world? It's what you wanted, right? A man who could get rid of the filthy Mudbloods, yeah?"

"Don't." he says, wincing, and reaching out again.

"No, _you_ don't!" she says hysterically, taking a few step back, away from his outreaching hand. "You don't get it, do you? You ruined it a long, long time ago. This -" She points at him and then at herself. "is just not happening. We're not _friends_ anymore, Snape. You get _that_, don't you?" she asks, her voice breaking, her eyes filling up with tears. His heart breaks a little when he sees one drop of it spilling over and sliding down her cheek.

"I'm s-sorry, Lily, please." he pleads, but she has already started to walk away. He wants to follow her, hold on to her, and tell her that he was hopelessly in love with her. But, he is rooted to the ground instead, because Lily, running away from him now, rounds the corner and bumps into James Potter.

"Lily? What the - what's goin' on?" Potter asks, looking down at her. He reaches out and holds onto her arms when she stumbles from bumping into him. Severus frowns, hatred boiling in him. Potter, apparently, was now allowed to touch her. "Hey," he says softly, "Why the tears?" Potter then looks up, and finds Severus standing at the end of the hallway. His face reddens, and he looks back at Lily again. "Is it Snape? What did he do? Lily, tell me what's going on -"

But Lily says, "It's nothing, James." She sniffles. "Let's just go to Potions. We'll be late." She starts walking again, but Potter doesn't.

"I'll catch up with you, Lily. I'm just gonna go get my textbook from the tower. Go ahead." He says, and she nods. He waits until she has fully rounded the corner before walking over to Snape.

Severus is still rooted to the ground when Potter walks up to him. No, _struts_ up to him, an angry scowl on his arrogant face.

"Stay _away_ from her, Snape." he says in a dangerously low voice. Severus doesn't say a word as Potter walks past him. He looks at the ground, slowly sinks down to the floor, and sits there, head resting against the ancient walls of Hogwarts.

"I love you, Lily." he says to the high ceiling.

Saying it out loud, he decides, is overrated.

Love is a crappy feeling.


	5. Sirius: The Wonderful Mess

Snow falls. White, wet, and wondrous. Sirius walks, his feet sinking into the thick layer covering the narrow pathways of Hogsmeade.

It's Christmas eve, and he is not home. It's not like it's anything unusual. He hasn't been back home for Christmas since his first year. Six years later, and he'd rather _not_ go home. Ever. Hogwarts has been home for a long time now.

He usually went home with James for Christmas. But this year, James' parents were celebrating their Christmas at a relative's place, and James had decided to stay at Hogwarts.

It's around ten at night, and Sirius knows its against his better judgment to be out this late during these dark times. But he is of age now, and he can do things without breaking school rules. He frowns and wonders if anything was worth doing if no rules were broken. He sighs. Being an adult is _so_ not worth it, he thinks, and then finally arriving at his destination, opens the jingling door. He walks in, and is immediately enveloped by the loud chattering of the few Hogwarts students sitting at a table. They are some of the only customers at the Three Broomsticks. A shabby middle-aged wizard sits at the other corner, while a pair of young women sit near the Hogwarts students. Sirius walks in, and shakes off some snow from his dark trench coat and his even darker hair.

"Black!" yells Benjy Fenwick, a blond seventeen-year-old boy. Sirius waves at him.

"Hey, Sirius!" Mary Macdonald says, smiling widely. Sirius smiles back. He can sense that they want him to join them, but he is not in the mood for making conversation with them. Instead, he walks over to the bar, and sits on one of those high stools. Rosemerta looks up from organizing some butterbeer bottles on display. She sees Sirius, and grins.

"Black!" she exclaims. "What a surprise."

"A pleasant one, I hope." he says, grinning back.

"Well, I hope you make it a pleasant one." she says, raising her eyebrows pointedly at him. "Now we know what happened the last time you were here."

"You loved every minute of that spectacle, Rosie." he says cheekily.

She shakes her head at him. It's very hard for her to keep a straight face when it came to Sirius Black.

"What will you have, darling?" she asks, wiping down the counter with a towel.

Five minutes later, he has his firewhiskey in front of him. He remembers begging Rosemerta for a sip of this very same drink last year. But Rosemerta does not deny him the drink now that he is of age. He takes a sip, and winces a little when the fiery drink makes his throat burn. It feels good.

There is the clanging of bells, and he looks up to find Lily Evans walking in. She looks around, apparently in search of someone. Sirius raises a hand, and she sees him. She walks over to him, a small smile on her face.

"Hello, Sirius." she says.

"Evans!" he exclaims. "This is unusual."

"Unusual?" she questions.

"Yeah, isn't this your bedtime?" he asks. She swats him playfully on his arm, smiling.

"Oh, ha ha." she says. She then looks around the pub again, her eyes searching.

"Who're you looking for?"

"Oh- um,… Dorcas."

"Meadowes?"

"How many other Dorcas' do we know?"

He shrugs.

"She said she'll be here… but, I don't know why she isn't." Lily says.

"You wanna wait with me?" he asks, pointing at the stool next to his.

She considers it for a moment, and then says, "Well, alright."

"So, how is that friend of yours?" he asks.

"Dorcas? She's doing okay, I suppose."

"I hear…" he clears his throat. "I hear she's with Abbot."

She looks at him, apology written all over her face. She nods. He tries to shrug as if it's no big deal. But the smile that he tries to gives her doesn't reach his eyes. He stares at the wooden counter, thinking, _what a mess I've become. What a mess we've made of our lives, Dorcas. _He tries not to remember how they had ended it. He tries not to remember _her_. Except, everywhere he looks he sees her.

Sirius takes another sip of his drink, and watches Lily shift around nervously on her seat. He smiles. He feels this weird, evil happiness when he watches people get nervous. He himself had never, ever been nervous. He gets scared, he admits. But, never nervous. Frightened and nervous were often mixed up by people. People often thought that if you were frightened, then you also ought to be nervous. Not true.

"What is it that you're drinking?" she asks suddenly, her gaze fixed on the glass in Sirius' hands.

"Try it." he says, pushing the glass towards her.

She looks at him suspiciously. "Black, just tell me what it is."

"Butterbeer." he says innocently.

She lifts the glass up, and sniffs it, and makes a face. "It is _not_!" she says indignantly.

"Oh, okay." he sighs. "It's firewhiskey."

She opens her mouth to tell him off for drinking, but he cuts her off with a "I'm seventeen."

She gives him a disapproving look, but says nothing.

"So, you wanna try?" he asks again.

"I don't drink, Black."

"Go figure."

She ignores his comment, and says, "How come you're here? It's almost Christmas. Not going home?"

He takes his time to answer.

"Nah." He pauses. "This _is_ home. Second home, anyway." He doesn't elaborate. He doesn't tell her what his first home is. He lets her assume that it's his own home. When in reality, it is James' home that is his own.

"Yeah," she says. "I know what you mean." She has a faraway look. He wonders if she too hated her family.

And they are silent for a moment. The silence is not awkward. It's surprisingly comforting.

She then discreetly asks him, "Where are your friends?"

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Friends?"

"Yeah, you know, the rest of your gang?"

"Ah. The gang." he says, smiling impishly. "Anyone in particular you wanna talk about?"

She looks at him sharply, but says, "No."

"Well, Remus and Peter have both gone home for Christmas," he says, a spark in his grey eyes. "But, I suppose you knew that, didn't you, Evans?" She protests, but he goes on, "And so, let's get to the heart of the matter, shall we? The friend who you wanted to know about is in detention at the moment."

"What are you talking about, Black?" she asks, exasperated. But in her eyes, he sees something more.

"James Potter is in detention." he says.

"In detention? But, it's Christmas!" she says incredulously.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, Evans," he says. "We Marauders don't have a holiday when it comes to getting in trouble."

"No!" she says, rolling her eyes. "I mean, even McGonagall isn't cruel enough to give detentions out on Christmas eve."

"It wasn't McGonagall. It was Filch."

"Well." she sighs, looking a little worried. "What did he do, exactly?"

"That is for Prongs to tell. Not me. Sorry, Evans."

"Your friend is in trouble all the time."

"Yeah, and you find that attractive, no?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"He's Head Boy, for Merlin's sake! How could he go around getting in trouble like that?"

"Again, you like that."

"What?"

"Why do you pretend like you don't hear me?"

"Black, you are ridiculous."

"No, I'm serious." Ha ha ha.

"Seriously?" she says, annoyed now.

"Sirius! Lily!" The pair of them look up to find Marlene making her way over to them.

"Oh, Merlin." Sirius hears Lily mutter, and he almost spits out the firewhisky in his mouth.

"What's that, Evans?" he asks her, a grin spreading across his face.

"Um, nothing, I think I'll be leaving now." she says, and gets up just as Marlene reaches them.

"Oh, no you won't." he says, and grabs onto her wrist. He then glances at Marlene and flashes her his pearly whites. "McKinnon! Won't you join us?"

"Yes, yes, of course." she says enthusiastically, and pulls out a seat. "How are you, Sirius? Lily?"

"Fine, fine." Sirius says, and glances at Lily.

He sees her struggling a little. "I'm fine, thank you, Marlene." she finally says, smiling. But he smirks when he sees a crease between her eyebrows. _Oh, this is so fun_, he thinks.

There is silence. And this one is a little uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Well." says Marlene, the huge grin still on her face.

"Well." says Sirius, his pearly whites still flashing.

"Well." says Lily. No smiles there. Nope.

"Hey, so where is James?" asks Marlene.

Sirius sees the crease between Lily's eyebrows deepen. And he wants to laugh. So badly.

"Ahem, um," he says. "In detention."

"Oh, that James!" she says laughing. "Always in trouble."

He laughs along with her. But for a very different reason. The door to the pub opens again, and in comes James. _This evening just keeps getting better and better. Must keep calm. Must not laugh. _

Lily sees James before Marlene does. The moment she does, she gets up from her stool like her butt is on fire. "I'll be leaving now."

Sirius grabs onto her wrist again, pulling her back onto her seat. "Aw, Evans, come on! Live a little."

James is now making his way over to them. But suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks. Apparently, he has just realized that Lily, Marlene, and Sirius are sitting together. A little math, and it adds up to Sirius making trouble. He glares at Sirius the entire time he is walking over to them. Sirius grins back, and yells, "James, my man!"

"James!" Marlene yells, having just realized his presence. She is thick, that Marlene, Sirius realizes.

"Hey, Marlene." James says, now standing in front of them. "Hullo, Sirius, _buddy_…" he says, glaring at his best friend, knowing that Sirius is enjoying this. Sirius wants to tell James that this is all a bloody coincidence, and that he had nothing to do with the circumstances (he wishes he _did_ have something to do with it), what with Lily and Marlene being here together. James, though, is now looking at Lily like he is seeing her for the first time. "Lily…"

"James…" she says, the slightest of blushes appearing on her cheeks. "I - I actually have to go now." She gets up.

"Aw, why?" Marlene asks.

"Um, I'm just a little tired."

"Well, I'll take you back." James offers earnestly.

"Oh, no, no, that won't be necessary." Lily starts to protest. "Besides, you just got here."

"I'll take her," Sirius says instantly, having no real intentions of actually taking her. He just wants to piss James off. And it works.

"Don't be silly," James says, annoyance written all over his face. "I don't mind at all. Excuse us, Marlene, Sirius…" And then he is leading a very confused Lily towards the door.

"Look, James, I can get back by myself. You really don't have to." Sirius hears her say.

"I want to." he says. "It's stupid to go out there by yourself, Lily." And then the pair of them are out the door. The door jingles shut behind them.

Sirius hears a very loud, exasperated sigh. He looks over to see Marlene looking at the shut door.

"You okay?" he asks.

"They've been dancing around each other for years now," she says.

"They have."

"They are perfect for each other, aren't they, Sirius?" she asks dejectedly.

"They are," he agrees. They'd be a mess together. But, the mess would be so… _right. _

………………………………_........................................_

_Note: Thanks so much for reading._

_And, thanks also for reviewing my previous chaps :) I love them, and will appreciate reviews on this chapter too. I've always wanted to write a scene like this. I wonder if it turned out ok..._

- Cordelia Blythe


	6. James and Lily: Bittersweet

Bittersweet

Change. She had hated it. But, it happened inevitably. When she was a little girl, her mother used to tell her that she needed to stop living in the past, and that change was the future.

"Embrace it, Lily," her mum had said. "Change is how life progresses."

But, she had hated it. Lily liked to hold onto her past. She liked certainty. She liked to be consistent. Change…

Not all of it was bad, she knew. When she found out about being a witch - that was change. But, how brilliant it was! Yes, it was wonderful… but along with happiness, it also brought bitterness. She lost her sister the day she found out about being a witch.

Change, according to Lily, did horrible things to people.

Before her very eyes, she saw her best friend, an innocent young boy, change. She saw her Sev turn into someone she later won't recognize. He was her very first friend, her very first teacher of magic. He understood her. They, together, were two halves of a whole. Or so she thought…

They set foot on the grounds of Hogwarts together. But the moment they set foot, it seemed, they started to drift apart. It was as if the person she thought she was closest to, was now farthest from her. The boy she knew before was gone before first year even ended. But, it would not be until their fifth year that Severus would really change. It was a process, the change. He had started changing in their first year, but it took four more years for him to cross over.

Cross over to the dark side. _How very cliché_, she thought.

On the day they were sorted, she remembers hearing the word "Gryffindor!" She remembers feeling elated, being sorted into a house that was known for its bravery. But then, only a few names later, Severus was sorted. He was sorted into Slytherin, and in that moment, she didn't know. She had no idea that that House would be the root of the change that would end their friendship. In that moment, even when she felt very disappointed that her best friend was not in the same house as her, she thought that they would always be friends.

How very wrong she was.

………………………………...................................

"_Lily!" _

_She is walking with two of her new friends, Marlene McKinnon and Mary Macdonald. She had just met them yesterday at the feast, and they seemed to be very nice, although Mary did seem to have a sharp tongue. Now, she turns around to find Severus walking towards her, a huge smile on his pale face. _

"_Sev!" she greets back, while Marlene and Mary look at the intruder curiously. Marlene smiles politely at him, but Mary looks up and down at his Slytherin robes. The best friends, though, are oblivious to her scrutiny. _

_When Severus and Lily have talked for a few minutes, exchanging the details of their schedules and promising each other to meet up during lunch, they part ways. Severus walks towards Potions, while Lily and her friends towards Defense Against the Dark Arts. _

"_Who was that?" Mary asks, wrinkling her nose. _

"_Oh, um, my friend Severus…" Lily replies, smiling. _

"_Is he in Slytherin?" Mary asks._

"_Yes, he is," Lily replies. "Why?" _

"_Well… and he's your friend, you say?" Mary asks, while Marlene looks on. _

"_Yes…" Lily says, now thoroughly confused. "But, why do you ask?" _

_Mary looks at Lily skeptically, and then says significantly, "It's just… unheard of. Friendship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin." When Lily still looks confused, and a little annoyed, Mary says, "Slytherins are known for their sly character. They aren't to be trusted." _

_Now Lily is just really irritated. She says coldly, "He's my best friend." _

_Mary shrugs. "I'm just saying…You'll know what I'm talking about, Lily." _

_Lily is fuming by the end of this conversation. What she doesn't know is that Mary would turn out to be right. And she will find out exactly what Mary was talking about. _

………………………………_....................................._

Change, she later finds out, is not always horrible. As she saw one boy take a path towards self-destruction, she also saw another boy take a completely unexpected turn.

Arrogant, impertinent, insolent, cheeky James Potter.

Is still arrogant, impertinent, insolent, and cheeky. But, he's also kind, generous, brave, passionate, and loyal.

It had started off terribly. He had insulted her best friend, and she had despised him. James Potter was a rich brat with regard for no one. He had teased her all the way through third year. Him and his best friend Sirius Black were always pulling her leg. And then suddenly, in fourth year, he asked her out. It was awkward, surreal. She didn't see it coming, even though Sev did. He had warned her that Potter "fancied" her. She had laughed it off.

And then, on that winter day, a day before Slughorn's annual Christmas party, he had come running up to her, a silly grin on his face -

_The Gryffindor common room is beautifully decorated with red, green, and gold. She sits curled up in the comfy couch in front of the fireplace, a book open on her lap. _

_He comes in through the portrait hole, his hair disheveled, his best friend in tow. He heads straight for her._

"_Evans!" _

_She looks up, and sees "the rude boy" and his equally rude friend. _

"_Yes?" she asks, already sounding disgruntled. _

"_You're pretty, you know?" he says, grinning, a little too proud of himself. _

"_Am I?" she asks, her eyebrows raised. Sirius sits across from her (He wants to have a clear view of this spectacle), while James stands in front of her, his feet apart and his arms folded across his chest. Self-confidence shines on his face. _

"_You are." he nods his head. "So, I think you should go to Slug's party with me." He doesn't ask. He _tells _her. _

_She is surprised. She had never considered Sev's warning to be true. She is also a little annoyed. He is asking her like he knows she'll say 'yes'._

_She gets up, smiles, and comes close to him. His grin widens - if that's even possible. _

"_I don't think so." she whispers. His face falls. And then she's gone._

_As she walks away she hears Black guffaw. _

………………………………_.................................._

But, that's him. Self-confident.

The one flaw he had was his constant need to harass Severus. But why did she care now? Does it matter anymore, now that Lily doesn't even _talk _to Snape? And even if she _did_ care, James had now stopped doing that. Harassing Snape, that is.

So, in year six, that change happens. She notices that James doesn't pick on Snape during the first semester of their sixth year. She is walking to Arithmancy, and as she is about to round a corner, she hears it -

"Potter," says the voice. It's the hiss - she could recognize it anywhere. "Think you're the king of Hogwarts, do you?" Severus sneers. Lily glances out from behind a pillar, and sees Snape's wand pointed at James's chest. James' wand, though, is nowhere to be seen. "Heard about your father, Potter… tell him not to stick his nose into the Dark Lord's business - "

"You should keep _your _abnormally large nose out of my father's business, Snape," James answers. "And I'd lower that wand if I were you. The unforgivable curses aren't legal - and you wouldn't want to be seen doing them in school." And to Lily's utmost surprise, he walks away. He doesn't pull out his own wand (which she can now see poking out of his pocket).

She doesn't hear about any sort of dueling between Snape and James for long time. And even when she hears them, it's always Snape who is shown in a bad light.

………………………………........................................

Change. James wasn't the only one who had changed.

It was their relationship - it was amazing the change it had gone through. From childish ignorance to disdain to confusion to acquaintanceship to friendship to finally, love… pure love.

Somehow they both thought that through the course of the change, love was always there. Even when she couldn't stand the sight of him.

It's the way teenagers are. They bicker, they tease, and they get annoyed. Yes, it's such a cliché. Oh, he teases her. He _must _fancy her. But you see, he _did_. And she must admit, she did too.

But, either way, there was change.

………………………………....................

They are in their seventh year, and sometimes they have no idea how to get to the final stage of their relationship. He seems to have given up on asking her out. She seems to be waiting on him.

Pride.

He needs to move on, his friends say. She needs to ask _him _out, her friends say.

He tries to move on. He talks to Marlene. She is no Lily. But, he tries. They laugh together, and there's talk that James and Marlene make quite a good couple. He is tall, dark haired, and handsome. She is tall, blonde, and beautiful. But, she is no Lily.

Lily doesn't ask him out. She can't. It's against her principles.

………………………………..............................................

He makes his move. He is impatient. Everyone knows that. He is persistent, but impatient. Their seventh year is almost going to end, and he can't seem to move on. Marlene is sweet. She is funny and great, but she's all wrong for him.

So, on that snowy day, a day before Christmas, he does it. They leave Sirius and Marlene at the Three Broomsticks, and walk towards their destiny.

They walk, talking to each other like two old friends. Even with all the awkwardness, there is this comfort. Snow falls from the heavens, beautiful and light. As they walk their hands brush slightly. Their shoulders touch. Every touch is like a shock wave.

"I can't believe there's a war going on…" Lily is saying. "It's dreadful."

"I can't believe it myself." he says.

"How are we supposed to go about our lives after school's over?" she asks. "I mean, I'm sure the war won't be over by then."

He shakes his head. "I highly doubt it'll be over by then… I'm thinking I'll start my Auror training when I'm out of school."

She smiles. He likes that. She doesn't ask him 'Really?' like she is surprised, like most people. She smiles like she knows that's what he's ever wanted to do. She smiles like she knows him. She smiles like they've had this conversation before.

"You?" he asks.

She's quiet for a long time.

"Lily?" he prompts her. She looks over at him, and he is taken aback. Lily, always the one to be confident about herself, is looking at him with tear-filled eyes. He blinks, not quite sure about himself. This was Lily, sure and strong. And yet, in this moment, she is so vulnerable.

They stop walking. He turns towards her, and she towards him. They stand like that, looking at each other.

She then opens her mouth, and says in a tiny voice that he strains to hear, "You think we'll make it? I mean, I'm a muggleborn and you're helping the muggleborns… so, do you -" she pauses, taking a deep breath, "Do you think we'll make it, James?"

He stares at her, not knowing what to do or say. Maybe he just has too much to do or say. But this moment, this little walk from Hogsmeade, just isn't enough. He knows that. This moment isn't enough to say all those things that he wanted to say to Lily. This moment just isn't enough to make up for all the time that they had spent not knowing each other. _Will they make it?_ He doesn't know if they'll make it. He doesn't know.

What he does know, though, is that they needed to make it. They, Lily and James, needed to get through it.

This moment might not be enough to say and do everything. For that they needed to survive the war. But this moment - it's still a moment.

He steps closer to her, and watches as her tear-filled eyes flicker with surprise. He is so close that his lips are now touching her left cheek. When he whispers, she shivers - "I don't know, Lily. But if we don't make it, I want to know that I lived my life to the fullest." He pulls away slightly, so that he can look at her. She gives him a watery smile, and places her hands on either sides of his face. She stands on her toes, and he bends his head towards hers.

"Me, too." she whispers, and kisses his rough, unshaven cheek.

…………………………….

Change can be a blessing.

....................................

Note: Hey readers!

Thanks for reading. Yeah, it's been a while since I updated, but I've been having a bit of a writer's block. Every thing I wrote felt dead and wrong. I really hope this chapter _didn't_ sound dead and wrong. Would love to hear what you think :)

Thanks again for the reviews on my previous chapters. Love them!

-Cordelia Blythe


	7. James and Sirius: What Are the Chances?

What Are the Chances?

_Fourth Year_

"Marlene McKinnon."

"Of course. Those endless legs…Um, what about Mary Macdonald?"

"Nah. Blake Zabini."

"Um, Padfoot, I don't know about that. She tried to hex you, remember?"

"No, Prongs, she tried to Crucio me." Sirius says, and then grins at his friend. "That's hot."

James looks at Sirius, considering this, and then he says, "Yeah, ok, that _is_ hot."

Remus rolls his eyes at the two of them, mutters something about having delusional friends, and goes back to reading a book entitled _Outcasts In the Wizarding World. _

"Narcissa Black." James states.

"Eh!" Sirius gags, revolted. "She's my _psycho_ cousin, Prongs! And she's not even at this school anymore."

"Yeah, well, she _is _psycho," James agrees. "But, she's not _my_ cousin, and she's a knock out."

Sirius makes a face, but continues, "Heather McLaggen."

"Lily Evans."

Silence.

"The red-haired one?"

"How many others do we know, Padfoot?"

"She called you an insufferable git."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"She's skinny and small."

"And pretty." adds James.

Sirius grins. "You fancy her."

"No!" James exclaims. Remus, who had put away his book, is looking at James with raised eyebrows.

"Remus, what do you think, pal?" Sirius asks. "James and Evans." He sighs dramatically. "He's growing up, Moony. Our James is all grown up."

"Put a sock in it, Padfoot!" James says, irritated.

Sirius fakes a serious face, and says, "She hates your guts, Mr. Potter." He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands fisted under his chin. "Now, how does that make you _feel_?"

James throws a pillow at him, and gets up. "I think I'll be leaving now," he says, and starts to walk out the door.

"Want me to put in a good word for you, mate?" Sirius asks. James turns around really fast, stumbling over Remus' trunk in the process.

"Don't. You. Dare." He says dangerously. Sirius laughs his bark of a laughter. "Say even a word to her, and you, Padfoot, won't be able to sit on your behind for weeks." This said, he storms out of their dorm, his face an unusual crimson.

Long after James is gone, Sirius is laughing. Remus is trying very, very hard to drown out the loud laughter. But, in vain. He sighs loudly, and shuts the book he now can't concentrate on.

"This is just way too amusing." Sirius says, his laughter finally subsiding. "Prongs. His first love."

"Yes, very amusing," mutters Remus. "Think he'll ever actually have a chance with her?"

Remus and Sirius consider this, deep in thought. Then arriving at a conclusion, they say simultaneously -

"No. Absolutely not."

……………………………….................................................

"Fancy her?" He asks, incredulous. "Fancy?" He laughs. "How come you didn't ask if I fancied Narcissa Black or Mary MacDonald, then?"

"Well, mate, it's the way you said her name, isn't?" Sirius says, holding in a grin. "Liiiiily Evvans."

"You're completely demented, you are." James says.

"You didn't answer my question. Do you, or do you not fancy her?"

"I don't, alright? No chance." James says, throwing a pair of trousers into the open trunk. He then stops, frozen. "Hang on. Why are you asking me over and over again." His eyes widen. "Do _you_ fancy her?"

_This is way too good to pass up_, Sirius thinks. He puts on his best grave face, and looks at James. The look clearly conveys what Sirius wants it to convey - _I'm sorry, mate. Yes, I do fancy her_.

"You fancy Lily Evans!" James accuses him, his eyes narrowing. When Sirius doesn't answer him, he blinks, his mouth hanging open.

And Sirius can't hold it in any longer. He laughs.

"What? Why the hell are you laughing?" James asks.

"You sure do seem like you fancy her, mate." Sirius says.

………………………………......................................

Spring is in the air. Everywhere Sirius looks he suddenly notices love blooming. It's really strange. Sitting in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, he sees Benjy Fenwick over there, his arm slung around a blushing Mary MacDonald. On the other side of the classroom, there's Alice, her eyes fixed on Frank, sitting only a couple of seats away from her. Sirius looks around, finding a group of Ravenclaw girls, who, incidentally, are looking at _him_. Sirius gives them all a grin that sends his fan-following into a fit of giggles. Dorcas Meadowes, sitting in front of him, looks over at the group of girls. She then turns around and literally glowers at him. He grins at her, too. She blushes, and looking like she has no idea what hit her, turns away.

Sirius turns to his left, and finds James Potter. Ah yes, James is looking at the red-haired girl. Of course. Why is he surprised?

……………………………….................................................

_Fifth Year (Beginning)_

"Detention, Mr. Black!" Professor McGonagall is saying, her lips pressed in a severe line. She turns to James, and says, "And you too, Mr. Potter." She paces back and forth behind the desk in her office. "Really, this is the _limit_! Hexing a student in the middle of a _class_!" She stops pacing, and turns towards them with a sort of defeated look. "Thirty years of teaching, and I have never -" She looks at them. "_Never _have I had to deal with such a troublesome pair of students." She leans forward, her hands resting on her desk. If possible, her expression becomes more severe. "You have both served fifteen detentions already."

James has the audacity to say, "Only fifteen? Surely it's more than that?"

McGonagall is not happy. "That's only this year, Mr. Potter."

Sirius grins over at his friend.

She sighs, and asks, "What on _earth_ led the pair of you to hex Mr. Snape in the middle of your Potions class?" When neither of them answers her, she looks at Sirius and asks, "Mr. Black?"

He looks her right in the eye and says, "He insulted us."

She looks skeptically at him from over the top of her glasses. "Insulted you? How?"

"Not us in particular." Sirius says, gesturing at himself and James. "It was R-"

But, before he can finish the sentence, James discreetly nudges him.

Sirius changes track fast. "It was just an insult directed towards the lot of us… you know, Peter, Remus, James, and me."

McGonagall looks at him critically, but she doesn't press any further. "I won't even bother telling you boys to stay out of trouble… It only encourages you more and more. But, the next time this happens I will make sure that you don't play for the next Quidditch match." She lets this sink in. But, this is Sirius and James. They remain unfazed by such threats. "You're dismissed." They are almost out the door, when she calls out after them, "Detention next Friday, boys!"

They walk out of the office, grinning. Hexing Snape was so worth it - even if it got them detention. Only a few steps out they bump into Lily. The huge stack of books she is carrying crash to the floor. She curses, and Sirius nods at her appreciatively. "Didn't know you had it in you to use such colourful words, Evans."

James immediately bends down to help her with the books. He hands her a book entitled _The Patronus: The Meaning Behind Your Patronus_. She looks up at who she has bumped into. She then snatches the book from James, and stands up, hugging her books to her chest. "Hello, Black, Potter." There is a certain coldness in her tone.

"Hey, Evans…" James says, his hand immediately going up to fix his hair… or to mess it up even more. The three of them stand awkwardly. Or rather, Lily and James stand awkwardly. Sirius is rarely ever awkward.

Lily then remembers the incident from that afternoon in Potions class. "I can't believe you two."

James looks at her, confused, while Sirius waits for her to continue.

"In Potions today!" she reminds them.

"Oh, that." Sirius says. "Yeah, 't was cool… Thanks for the compliment."

She glares at Sirius. "I hardly thought it was _cool_, Black. What did Severus ever do to you?"

"'S not your business, is it, Evans?" Sirius asks.

"Yeah, and since when does Snivellus have to do something for us to hex him?" James asks, grinning.

She shakes her head at him, and says, "That's just pathetic." She then looks at Sirius and says, "And it _is _my business. He's my best friend."

James frowns. "Look, Evans, your best friend was out of line, and that's why we hexed him."

"Out of line?" she asks incredulously. "Are you serious? You lot are out of line almost all the time, and as much as I'd like to, you don't see me hexing you, do you?" She scoffs. "You just want a reason to show off, Potter." She says "Potter" like it's venom.

His frown deepens, and there is even an angry red staining his cheeks. "Showing off?" He splutters. "That's- that's just - "

"James Potter," She says loftily. "Knows all these awesome hexes. Look at him - he's the height of cool!" Her face shows every sign disgust.

"Evans," he says, warning her. "You're crossing the line here."

She turns around, and walks away, her long red braid swinging behind her. James looks after her, stunned.

He looks over at Sirius, who is quite amused.

"How is it that we _both_ hexed Snivellus, and yet, Evans just made _me_ look like the bad guy?" James asks. "I mean, did you hear that? Showing off? Me?"

Sirius shrugs. "I guess it didn't help your case when you said, 'Since when does Snivellus have to do something to hex him?' I mean, mate, you don't say that about the best friend of the girl you like."

"I don't like her, Padfoot." He sighs. "I mean, she's so uptight…"

Sirius nods. "She does seem like a younger version of McGonagall…Better looking, of course, but I suspect McGonagall herself was quite a catch when she was our age…" Sirius looks up at the ceiling, as though imagining Minerva in her teenage days.

James stares at Sirius, wondering whether his best friend had completely lost his marbles.

Sirius shakes his head like a puppy dog (Shaking off the apparent image of a younger McGonagall) and then says, "Anyway, Evans _is_ uptight… but you do fancy her."

"I _used_ to fancy her." he says. "Remember? Fourth year, Slug's party? I asked her out. She turned me down." He tries to look like he doesn't care. "Her loss, yeah?"

When Sirius and James sit down for dinner that night, James asks him, "What does she see in Snape anyway? Bit of a git, isn't he?"

"Bit? Huge, more like."

James raises a spoon of French onion soup to his lips, and then stops midway. "Hang on." He looks over at Sirius, his eyes wide. "You don't - you don't think she _fancies_ Snape, do you?"

Sirius looks at James and rolls his eyes. "No chance." He looks over at the Slytherin table, and spots Snape. Predictably, the Slytherin is furtively glancing at Lily, who is sitting a couple of seats from Sirius himself. "_He_ might fancy _her…_ but, not the other way around."

James nods, a little assured. Snape can never be competition for him. Can he? What are the chances…?

……………………………….....................................................

_Fifth Year (End)_

He has done it again.

"Thought you said you didn't fancy her anymore, Prongs?" an amused Peter asks him.

"We all thought so, Wormy." Sirius says, letting out a laugh.

"I didn't." Remus says.

"Well," James sighs. "It's done, isn't it? She hates me."

"It isn't your fault, Prongs." Padfoot says firmly. "Snivellus ruined it for you… the next time I get my hands on him…"

Remus sighs. "Sirius, you fail to see that the reason why Lily yelled at James today was because of what you two did to Snape. I suggest that you _don't _'get your hands on him.'"

"So, you're saying it _is _my fault." James snaps.

"Well," Remus begins, and then hesitates. "I -" But feeling as though his friend needed to know the truth, says, "I'm afraid it is, Prongs."

"Remus, who's side are you on, anyway?" Sirius asks.

"Don't be silly," Remus replies. "James', of course. It's just really stupid what you two did today. Using _Levicorpus_ on Snape… well, it's petty."

"He called her a- a -" James struggles to say the word, and then settles on saying, " a you-know-what!"

"Yes," Remus replies calmly. "But, Snape's a git. What else is new?"

"What's new is that I tried to defend her!" James says.

"It was very noble of you," Remus says, as if talking to a child who was being unreasonable. "But, you had just humiliated her best friend in front of everyone."

"Best friend?" James yells, incredulous. A couple of first years sitting by them jump a little. "_Best friend, _Remus? Are you serious?"

"Look, I'm just saying, you've got to stop hexing people, Snape in particular, if you want Lily Evans." Remus concludes.

……………………………….....................................................

_Sixth Year _

He sees her walking towards him, and he looks away. Doesn't try to catch her eyes, or say hello, or wink at her. Nope. He walks right past her, even as Remus says, "Hey, Lily."

When they have passed her, Peter says, "Wow, James, did you just see who passed us?"

"What?" James asks. "Who?" He, of course, knows.

Sirius says, "Well, this is an improvement."

…………….

_Seventh Year _

_Christmas Day_

He wakes up with a blow to his head.

"Wake up, arse!"

His eyes open to find a blurry person sitting on his bed. He reaches over, gets his glasses from the desk next to his bed, and shoves them onto his face. Sitting next to him is Sirius, a goofy grin plastered on his face. "Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas…" James says grumpily. "Why did you have to smack me on the head?"

"It's tradition, innit?" Sirius replies, still grinning like a maniac. James notices.

"What have you got that grin on your face for? Did my mum send you extra cookies, or something?"

"Yeah, that…" Sirius says. "And more importantly, Evans was here a while ago…"

James sits up from his sleeping position immediately, his own mouth forming a silly grin. "What?"

"Yeah…" Sirius says. "Wanted to know whether you were up. I told her you were still sleeping… asked her if it was something important." He raises his eyebrows in amusement. "Said she wanted to wish you 'Merry Christmas'… So, are you going to tell me why you still weren't in bed when I came in last night? Especially since you both left _long _before I did…" When James only grins more, Sirius gives him another blow to the back of his head. "You bloody _arse_! I _knew_ it!"

The two of them sit on the bed, both immersed in their own thoughts.

Sirius thinks back to all those years ago when he and Remus had conversed about the day this - James and Lily - would happen.

_What are the chances? _

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_Note: Thanks for reading! _

_I, once again, want to thank my reviewers - you have no idea how happy they make me. Seriously. I love them. Please keep them coming :)_

_So, this chapter... I like writing about Sirius' role in the James/Lily romance. And yeah, I know, this doesn't even have too much of Sirius' point-of-view, but he is present in most of the scenes. Anyway, let me know what you think. _

- Cordelia Blythe


	8. Lily, Sirius, and James: Strangers

Seventh Year, Fall

October

She is sitting on a bench in the courtyard, when it happens. It starts to rain parchments. The emerald green parchments fall from the heavens. Or they appear to fall from the heavens. It's obviously a spell, because the chances of it really raining papers are pretty thin. At first, it seems like the sort of thing the Marauders would do. A silly prank - parchments with some scandalous, inappropriate joke written on them would be their idea of a laugh.

She picks up one of these, and immediately finds that this is no work of the Marauders. As she reads these words on the parchment, she feels a sort of chill pass through her entire body:

Mudbloods Beware: The

Dark Lord Rises. The World

Will Soon Be Rid of Muggles and

Mudbloods

Feeling more than a little sick, she wonders how much worse this war could prove to be.

"What the ruddy hell is this?" says a voice behind her. She turns around, and there's James Potter. He holds the same parchment in his hands. His eyes move across the page, and then his mouth forms a deep frown. He looks up and sees Lily. His cheeks are flushed with anger. "This is shit."

"Wonder if it's the work of students here." she says. He walks over and sits next to her.

"This is shit." he repeats, his fist clenching the parchment into a ball. He looks around the courtyard, looking for the source of the rain. There, across the courtyard, stand a group of Slytherins, laughing and jeering. He knows that they probably hadn't started the rain. Even if they had, they probably wouldn't stand around laughing at it. They wouldn't want to get caught. Plus, the magic was definitely beyond those dimwits. But, James has a sudden urge to go and beat those guys to a pulp. He doesn't even want to use his wand. Using the fist seemed more satisfying right this moment. He starts to get up, his still clenched hand ready to strike a blow, but Lily stops him. She holds on to his arm firmly and says -

"No, James." she says.

"Look, just let me have a go."

"No." She tightens her grip on his arm.

"Look at them," he says. "Laughing their arses off. Just let me give Crabbe a swollen eye, Lily." When she gives him a curt shake of the head, he whines, "It'll make me feel better." He pouts.

Her mouth quivers a little, and a smile threatens to break out, but she is stubborn. "He's not worth it, and you're Head Boy."

"What's up?"

They look up to find Sirius Black making his way over to them.

"What are these parchments about?"

He reads over James' shoulder, and then frowns, his expression almost exactly the same as James'. "Man. Who are they kidding?"

"Arses."

"Who d'you think it is?" Lily asks.

"Well, who else?" Sirius asks. When she looks at him blankly, he says, "That idiot, Voldemort!"

She rolls her eyes, and says, "Well, yes, of course it's Voldemort, Black. But, he obviously got someone to do it for him. I doubt he himself did this."

"It could be any of the Slytherins." James says and shrugs.

Lily looks around. Her eyes stop on Severus Snape. He is with the same crowd that was laughing and jeering. _He _isn't laughing or jeering. He is looking at her, and there is no expression on his face. She turns away, and looking at James, says, "Yes, I suppose it could be any of the Slytherins."

……………………………….................................................

Seventh Year, Fall

November

"Where's the meeting again?" Sirius asks.

"They didn't specify. We are to meet up at the Three Broomsticks." Remus replies. James and Sirius lead the way, with Remus and Peter just behind them.

The sky above is that dark velvety blue, with a tinge of light blue and pink. There is a sudden strike of lightening followed by thunder, and Peter jumps a little. James glances up at the sky and speeds up.

They walk past a couple of shops, and a minute later arrive at the Three Broomsticks. It is already pouring when they reach it. They enter, soaked. The place is not very crowded, mostly because it is a weeknight. Most Hogwarts students are at the castle, probably in their dormitories, getting ready for bed.

They dry off before heading for Rosemerta, the barmaid.

"Rosie!" Sirius says, and flashes her a smile. She smiles back, smug.

"Black." she nods, and then turns to the others. "And the gang."

"_And the gang?" _James says, eyebrows raised. "Rosemerta, I am _deeply _offended. Since when -"

"James, please," Remus cuts in, exasperated. He turns to Rosemerta and asks, lowering his voice so that only the five of them can hear. "Rosemerta, where's the - uh - Meeting being held?"

He doesn't have to clarify it for her to understand exactly what he is talking about. She looks around, and even though the bar is empty except for them, she whispers, "Through that back door." Her eyes flicker to a dark corner in the back. The four of them squint at it and see that the sign on the door says - "Supply Closet".

………………………………..............

The "Supply Closet" turns out to be a large room. But the room reveals itself only to members of the Order. Before long, the four of them are seated inside at the round table. James looks around and sees the group of people who will give their hearts and souls in order to fight the darkest forces in the Wizarding World. He doesn't know it yet, because this is only their second meeting.

They are all so young. Only just turned seventeen, most of them. Not younger, because Dumbledore would only let wizards and witches who were of age. Normally, they would've been at the castle with the others. Normally, their biggest worry would have been their classes.

But, normal is just not a word in their vocabularies anymore.

………………………………................................................

When he passes his brother in the hallways, he feels a mix of emotions. This man who now walks by him is not even really his brother anymore. Regulus is gone. He was gone a long, long time ago. This boy is someone else.

Flanking him are Mulciber, Avery, Snape, Crabbe, and Goyle. Regulus makes a rude gesture at Sirius. James, who is walking with Sirius, makes an angry grunt at him. But, Sirius does nothing. He would have jinxed him usually. A week ago, he would have. But, now, at this moment, he feels… tired. He feels stoic.

Yesterday, there had been three murders - two muggleborns, one pureblood "Blood traitor". Sirius knew none of them, and yet, he felt like he did.

And here is Regulus, once innocent. Once, his brother. Now, a stranger.

He has a flash of him and Regulus going for a swim in that lake near their countryside summer home. They were young - Sirius must have been around nine. He remembers playing games with his younger brother. He remembers them laughing together. He remembers his brother looking at him with an expression that could only have been respect and awe - the sort of look that a kid saved for his hero.

But then, he has a flash of that same face - older, though - calling Sirius a "Blood Traitor". He sees the stranger joining the Slytherins everyday at the table in the Great Hall. Sirius remembers this stranger threatening to throw a hex at him.

War. In the midst of it, sometimes, strangers felt like kin. And sometimes, the people who were once your nearest and dearest suddenly felt like strangers.

………………………………................................................

Seventh Year, Winter

January

Love and war. Together. All is fair in love and war. What an overused phrase, James thinks. Strange that two very different concepts are used together so often. One promoted peace and happiness, and the other was all violence and gore.

But, ironically, love and war had made an appearance in James' life - together.

Once they had taken that step towards each other on Christmas eve, it was like their whole lives had been set up in order to lead them to that one moment - that moment when they fell into each other's arms. This life with Lily had been his destination all along. And here, even in the midst of death and destruction, he couldn't help feeling pure happiness.

Love and war. War was bitter, but inevitable in any civilization. James would later realize the reason for the use of those two words in the same phrase - Yes, war brought out the worst in people.

But, it also brought out the best in them - Love.

………………………………..........................

Note: Thanks again for reading :)

Would love feedback. Reviews make me really, really happy.

And thanks to Kira2667, nerdgirl298, KaceyO, , Owl of the night, and Melora for reviewing my previous chapters.

- Cordelia Blythe


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